Who is this kid?

HAHAHAHA

So I have been wondering who this kid for the longest time.

NOW I KNOW. I somehow feel liberated knowing who this kid actually is because she has the funniest reaction.

Her parents just told her sister that they’re going to disneyland.. and this was her face. Her face has been photoshopped into A LOT of pictures and its hilarious, just like the one shown here.. LOL.

I personally have not been to or even near Disney Land but if my parents told me that I was going to Disney land, I would be jumping up and down, cry and then laugh hysterically because Ill be so excited. Just like Chloe’s sister. I understand that Chloe is pretty young so she probably does not know the wonders of Disney land but still her reaction was hilarious. Maybe inside her head, she was just like, “Uh.. why are you crying, you’re over reacting on this thing.”

The last time I cried when my parents said something was when they said that they were getting me a dog.. Sadly they didn’t because my brother soon had an allergic reaction with dogs but that is not the point. The point is Chloe’s face is just plain hilarious and I guess people do make that type of face when they couldn’t really care less about something and she is so cute!!

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Thoughts of an Anxious Student

Why does my future rely on whether university or college accepts me?

Why the heck have I not been accepted yet?

What will happen if I don’t get accepted to university?

I try not to think of any of these questions but lately these questions have been little imps tugging at my hair. It’s quite annoying that these thoughts are consuming every single happy thought that I have in my life. I thought I was happy and content that I have everything but I guess there is always something that is needed to complete a small hole in my heart. You know what it would be an understatement to call it a small hole because if a shadow were to reflect what really is going on inside a person. My shadow would be nonexistent, because what is going on inside my head makes me feel nonexistent and inadequate and never enough.

I don’t know if it is just me but it is terribly frustrating to see other people complain about which university or college they are going  to accept. With all due respect, I am happy for those people because now they can rest up their worried minds and just focus in school.

It annoys me because my grades are not even garbage, to be honest I think my grades are pretty decent except for one, which is math (I’m not even failing math lol).  This is another thing that makes me mad do universities or colleges base a student’s intelligence on one subject? In my case, are my intellectual capabilities based solely on one subject?  I hopefully think that it is not true because if they do then I might as well call my “bright happy future” goodbye and start living in the streets as a failure.

I know that there are always other pathways that I can take to be successful but I do not want to journey on that path. As they say no pain, no gain but I just want the path where there is the least pain and have the most gain because I am not always going to have youth on my side, I’m going to get old and brittle some time in the future.

So I guess all I want in life right now is to have these nasty little imps cut off from my life and get that most wanted acceptance. It scares me a little because I have no control over it, all I can do is wait. Just like how I cannot speed up or slow down time, all I can do is wait patiently. Hopefully this waiting comes to a stop and I can finally just rest and go on as a functioning adult in society.

 

What happened to my favourite shoe?

People always seem to blog about their family or their situation so today, I chose to blog about a thing.

If I was ever to choose an object that I can bring to a foreign planet because my memory would be erased and I need an anchor that can retain or remind me most of my memories. I would choose my “kung fu” flat happy feet. The brand of the shoe is happy feet. And it’s the most comfortable shoes ever. They’re like bobs or toms but way durable. They’re also breathable which prevents my foot from sweating and contracting athlete’s foot.

I always believed that good shoes take you to good places. I had a good shoe, key word “had”, I believe that it was one of the best shoes I’ve ever owned in terms of quality and comfort. The shoes were indestructible except for one thing, the hand sewn soles.

It was one rainy and gloomy day at school, but everything seemed to be working for me that day. I got a good mark on my test, I found a funny joke that I couldn’t help but think about. I don’t know something was just good that day but you know what they say a little sunshine then rain will come. I think that is a saying or maybe it was the opposite. Gum is one of my pet peeves, especially when people start chewing it like a cow or a goat chewing grass. I don’t need to hear you chew or smack your lips together like a barn animal because most of the time the food that these people chew fall out of their mouth. I find this very annoying but it annoyed me more because someone chewing gum ruined my shoes.

What are the chances of someone “accidentally” spitting out gum and it landing on the soles of my shoes? That day it was highly probable that a piece of nasty gum chewed by another person was going to land on the front of my shoes and stick furiously on it. So the gum did stick and the person was all like, “OMG, let me remove it for you.”

First of all who does that? Most of the time people would just be embarrassed say sorry and walk away but this time it was different. The person tried to take my shoe away from me and succeeded, I don’t know how. She started hacking at the soles with scissors and hence my shoes were ruined.

My day was perfect until someone ruined my perfect favourite shoe.

 

Are we our brother’s keeper?

Should we be responsible for other people? strangers that we have not talked to or known? Should we be responsible for the other?

My answer would be yes, at a certain point we are responsible for other people. Nothing in our world is permanent, everything always changes. As such is the fragile social economical  stature of the world. Right now I or you may be at the top of the world but there would come a time where we would have nothing to call ours. It is the circle of life, no one is exempted to this,  There would always be a king but no one stays a king forever. Today we can be CEOs of companies, tomorrow we can be those same beggars that we ignored today. No materialistic object to call mine, no broken cell phones to whine about or no dress to wear for the next party to stress about. We have become so shallow, we have become stuck to our materialistic vices. I haven’t experienced much of life and I might come off as a fool and have no right to saying such of these things because I haven’t experienced anything like other people have. But then what difference does it make because people who do have the experience and the memories of how bad things might have been for them, don’t do anything.
I feel like I am my brother’s keeper because I dont like the thought of someone experiencing what I have experienced and having no one there to help them. In a way, I am responsible for others because it reflects back to me. What if I’m the one who needed the help? What if I’m the one who just needs somebody? What if? Of course I would want someone to be there for me and help me when I need it. This selflessness that I feel makes me responsible for my brother.
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Why care?

Why should I care if I have friends, I don’t need them.

Why should I care if anyone will ever love me, I am fine by myself.

Why should I care about anyone else but me? No one has my back except me, myself, and I.

The world is such a weird place. For one to receive something, they have to give, but what if one keeps giving but one does not get anything back. Most likely that one will revert inward, away from everyone. That one will start to have all these negative thoughts. That one will shy away from everything, build her own walls, fortified with a steel shield around one’s heart. What does that one do to feel happy? That one does not do anything to feel happy, one tries, but one cannot. That one’s fortress has one trapped. That one’s heart is sealed shut, that one cannot escape, one can only wallow in despair.

That one walks the bustling streets, filled with people. That one walks to work and back. That one tries to say hi but that one cannot. That one thought that one was just protecting oneself, creating a defense mechanism. It backfired, this defense mechanism became fear. All these questions rumaging through one’s head, “What if? What if not?” That one nows hesitates to communicate.

I’m fine, I’m happy by myself.

I’ve got a house, a job, I love my life.

I don’t need to talk, because I am the only one who needs to hear my thoughts.

As humans we yearn for much more than materialistic things. As humans we yearn for much more, something that we never had before. This little thing can be the difference on what makes us happy or what makes us sad. That one denied something that one could probably never live without, the feeling of companionship and friendship. To know that one is not alone, because of all the negative thoughts that live in one’s head sometimes makes one forgets that there is someone that is always there for them. That other one may just be as shy or reluctant to show. But the thing is the other one knows that what happened to oneself was harsh that he or she would not like anyone to experience what she or he did. The little things can make a difference in a person’s life, words are not needed to be said to show that one cares for the other and that one is not alone. A little nudge on the shoulder or hug would do because those little things are sometimes all that is needed to make someone’s day turn right side up and patch up all the negativity that used to reside in one or the other’s heart or mind.

 

 

The Scale of Life

Suffering and happiness has a very thin line that separates it, it’s just like love and hate. In my opinion how do you know the other if you’ve never met it? How do you know happiness, if you have never suffered. How do you know if you have succeeded if you have never failed?  Just as how do you know that you’ve learned something when you have never made a mistake in life? I don’t know if I have watched too much kung fu or martial arts movies or read too much stories pertaining to the idea of having a balance in life but I believe on how the world exists in a yin and a yang. Everything in the world is on a scale, one side of the scale may weigh all the suffering and negative things that happen in the world. The other side may weigh all the happiness and positive things that we have in our life. I think this scale exists because one part cannot exist without the other. Just as how suffering or the negatives cannot exist without the happiness or the good.

My view in life is very optimistic in a way that it is almost unrealistic. I guess I’m delusional but I feel like the more I suffer in life, the more I’ll feel happy when I acquire my happiness. At the moment, things have not been going well lately but I know that there is another side to this. There is always something good coming out of things. I guess I got my wish, the wish that I had to work hard to get something. With great suffering comes great reward, I might not have that reward right now but there is something I know I have acquired and realized that no matter how much storms and disasters fall on me. God is just preparing me for something better, he always has his way of doing things. Life was not that bad when I realized this, plus I know that when the time comes for me to snatch my reward. I know that I would feel great relief and success because I know I worked hard and I earned it.

Paranoia: What if the World Ends?

2014 has not reached its halfway point yet and most of the books and movies that I have watched and read are the apocalyptic ones where the world is ending. Aliens are either invading the earth, 7 feet carnivorous plants are roaming the earth, or a scary virus is making everyone have  zombie like symptoms. World War Z, The Day of the Triffids, or The Walking dead are well made post-apocalyptic medias that don’t really scare me but it leaves ideas in my head. What if the world ends right here right now, would I be prepared? Will I survive? Am I strong enough?  It makes me paranoid, it’s like once you see a point of view that it can happen it stays there and it never goes away. The notion of the world ending does not leave my consciousness or even my sub-consciousness, it may not happen right now but it may happen in the future. It might make me seem crazy but I’ve prepared some “emergency things” that can aid me just in case something bad happens:

  1. I try to run at least 2 km for at least 4 days a week to build up my stamina. (What if I have to run away from like zombies?)
  2. I have a dull small katana ( a wakizashi) and a hammer under my bed ( still, this can apply to everyday life, what if someone breaks in my house? of course I’ll call 911 first but then what if I have to defend myself?)
  3. Solar powered hybrid flash lights, matches, candles, hatchet,  flint, batteries, a small sturdy pot and an emergency aid kit in a backpack ( These are needed anyways , what if a storm comes?)
  4. I hope seven years of practicing different types of martial arts will prepare me for a fight just in case. ( I’m a girl, I NEED to protect myself).
  5. Water bottles and bottled water stacked in my basement.
  6. Liquor and hand sanitizers (what if I need an anti-septic?)
  7. Medicine ( I  have a pretty good immune system but what if?)

Some of the things here are for emergency whether apocalyptic or a natural disaster. I have to be prepared, I don’t like being unprepared because then I have to rely on other people. When everything is said and done, at least I have my own back if no one has my back.

Now what would you do if the world ends?

WME: Spring breakers

The worst movie I ever saw was spring breakers. That is  if you don’t include the spin-off comedy releases of blockbuster movies such as The Hunger Games and Twilight. But hey, the spin-off for THG was The Starving Games. Sometimes these poorly made comedy “movies” are funny plus, in my opinion these types of “movies” are not there to win awards, like Silver Linings but to just rake in as much money as it can make. So, I can’t really count it as a “rateable movie.” Judging from posters I saw while I was walking through the theatre, all I thought was, “OMG, Selena Gomez has a new movie, I HAVE to watch it.” After it came out on Netflix, I started the movie with my siblings… BAD CHOICE. It started out with a slow-motion run of naked people spraying liquor around. I feel like I am such a bad influence to my siblings whenever I pick out movies to watch because I tend to judge a movie based on the actors I see in the poster or through its title. I rarely ever check the ratings of a movie, wait.. scratch that, I check ratings only when my parents and I are watching. I don’t want to accidentally show them a movie full of sex scenes, I don’t want them to think of me ever close to that stuff because it’s a very awkward situation. Spring Breakers is the worst movie that I have ever seen because I hardly thought about anything intellectual while watching the movie. In my opinion a good movie is a good movie if it makes you think. The same goes for t.v if the t.v show does not in any way stimulate your thoughts and start making you ask questions then I can hardly say that it is a t.v show worth watching. The annoying thing that I found on Spring Breakers was that there were too much naked people, boobies and unnecessary contact. I feel like that movie was such an unnecessary movie and it was a waste of my time. However, there was one thing that I liked, it was the piano scene; they started playing Britney Spears’s song: Every Time. It was the only redeeming quality that I found. I only watched it because Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens were part of the cast, if they were not starring the movie, I wouldn’t even have come close to saying Spring Breakers in real life. I seem to be oblivious to poster marketing, you would think that the poster would have given me a hint to what the poster is about. AS usual I did not get the hint.

For the love of Music

I have a passion for music, I love music but not the kind of love where I surrender my  whole time enhancing my musical skills. I only love music to the point of where I can turn on the radio, stare out the window and start to drift off. Music is a hobby, not a chore so even if I was a musical genius I would never use it as a job or as a source of earning money. It would only be a pocket full of happiness for myself to enjoy whenever I want.  So if I was to be compared to those who aspire to be singers or great pianists my love for music is only a grain of sand. I would never use music as a means for money because then It would start to annoy me, music would turn out to be a chore that I have to do so I can start earning money. Music is something for myself, unrestricted, not bound to a time or schedule that I have to follow,  it is a sound that makes me happy.

 

Young at Heart

Daily Prompt: Young At Heart

What are your thoughts on aging? How will you stay young at heart as you get older?

I actually don’t mind aging, it’s inevitable. I plan on just going with the flow, if I age, I age. If I don’t, I don’t (never going to happen). I have always admired old people just because when they do something like cooking, writing on paper or sewing, it’s so beautiful. Most old people are so sure at what they do, every action so intricately done over and over again. I envy them because I don’t have the wisdom that they possess, wisdom that comes with old age.  I’m still pretty young, I am almost always so unsure of what I have wanted to do, the uncertainty of my actions always show in most of the things that I have done that I can’t wait to be certain. I think certainty comes with old age and on that note I guess I have to wait a long time before I possess the “right” wisdom to be experienced and sure of almost everything I do.

I don’t have a plan on staying young at heart, because I think that I am young at heart. Hopefully when I have children I can tell them the stories or show them my favourite things when I was young and if the young ones are happy from the things I share with them, I guess I’ll be happy and feel young at heart too because I somehow connected something very old to someone young. I think this idea would make me feel and stay young at heart.

I’m a fan of Frank Sinatra and I thought this song kind of puts into words how I feel about being young at heart.