Today, in my English class, we read a poem. I was actually pretty excited because I haven’t read a poem in years besides the dark poems Edgar Allan Poe wrote. Judging the poem by its cover or in this case by its title I thought it was going to be something nice and happy but I was wrong. Before properly analyzing the poem and reading it only once, one line stood out to me:
“I won’t flinch and
I won’t blame
Just like any commercial, or any medium used by the media out there, to make something stand out, it has to be somehow relate-able to the viewers. This quote stood out to me because when I first read the line, my first thought was that he might have done something that made someone angry at him and that he won’t blame them if they go after him with some kind of vindictive agenda. I thought that maybe he had done something very bad and he isn’t afraid to own up to it in the end. I have somehow connected this line with my life. I would say that I’m the no excuses type of person, if something does not go through, whether it be homework or an event, I would ask myself or other people, “did you do it?” A simple question that only requires a yes or a no, it does not need to be backed up with excuses or stories that won’t do anything but waste my time or other people’s time. Unless, of course there is time to analyze the excuse then I guess its alright. Now, I would say after carefully analyzing the poem, this quote might have meant that when she (the little dark girl) finds out what he has been hiding or doing, he won’t make any excuses, he would own up to it and accept whatever fate gives him.
Other quotes that I found interesting were:
“As I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave, the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave”
The first line, he says he drives along the shore alone. I don’t think that he is driving on a physical shore, I think when says shore maybe he means his thoughts. So I would say that he is analyzing or thinking alone. Alone, I would say without anyone knowing what he is thinking, basically, I think he hasn’t shared his thoughts or feelings to anyone or in this case, the little dark girl. I don’t really know what the second line means but I would take a guess. I think the narrator is talking about his feelings, thoughts or maybe his heart. By this part of the poem, I think that whoever has been carefully analyzing it knows that the narrator possesses some heavy thoughts. the ugly heavy palms (his feelings) show how ugly his thoughts are, how his thoughts lack compassion. Now the third and fourth line intrigues me, I don’t think that he is talking about a human person dying or living, I think he is talking about his love dying away. If he even had the love and compassion for this person to begin with. His dreadful thoughts plagues his mind, he hopes that he changes his mind about a decision but as the last line say. his dreadful thoughts have not left him.
The next few lines of the poem shows the time they spent together and how he has found it pleasant and nice.
“who made me laugh
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. The knife is
mine and I won’t use it
I think these last few lines show more about the narrator than the rest of the poem.I have two final concluding thoughts on this but first I’ll say the deeper psychological version. It suggests that he was broken when he arrived and met her. Maybe he didn’t plan on falling in love with her, maybe he just planned to get to know her. The little kind girl was so compassionate and unselfish, sharing her warmth with him that he can’t help but linger in that warmth. Maybe this warmth scared him, maybe he just has extreme trust issues that in the end he starts having these destructive thoughts that influenced him to leave the girl when the time comes which I would say is rather selfish. I think that he is scared of being alone again but with what he is doing, he truly is alone.
My other conclusion is influenced by movies today.I don’t know when the poem was written maybe early 90s to early 80s but I think the narrator is a con-artist hired by an intelligence unit such as the CIA. This conclusion makes the narrator less selfish and I would say just protective of the little dark girl. He isn’t afraid to cut her lose in the end because he is done his job in her area and he just does not want anyone hurting her. Plus, he can’t risk her life because of his job, it would be too selfish of him that is why when the time comes he won’t hesitate to cut her lose. If I was to relate this to a superhero mindset, I would say that the narrator is a superhero who hides behind a mask, he was just doing his job but then he gets to know the little dark girl. Since the narrator is a superhero he has a lot of villains that come after him. He loves the little dark girl so much that he can’t risk her life for something that is not her fault. He knows that the little dark girl would hate him forever but he will do anything to protect the girl who has given him the warmth that he sought.